Thanks for the Spam, Google.

Last week via Gmail, Google sent this to one of my Google accounts:

Get more from Google Analytics™ with Google AdWords™
Begin advertising today with a $50 special offer.


We'd like to show you how to get even more out of Google Analytics with the Google AdWords advertising program. With AdWords, you'll get additional reports in Analytics that will help you increase your traffic and conversions. Many Analytics customers already use AdWords everyday, with impressive results. But there's no need to take our word for it. We'd like to offer you $50 to experiment with AdWords risk-free.


Naturally, $50 USD for PPC disappears in a heartbeat for just about anything. Free money is free money all the same, so I figured take them up on it to try reactivating some ads on one project that I'd previously shut off entirely, not just because I'd been funding it out of my own pocket but also because the conversions had been in the gutter (as easy as it might be for us Web Marketers to forget, the fact is there are some things for which PPC is a fundamentally inappropriate advertising channel).

When I tried to though, I got this:

Sorry, your account is too too old... Boo hoo, eh?

Dear Google, 

As much as you're in a war against Web spam, 
you are seemingly fine with sending email spam 
in context of its current campaigns: Offering 
hand-outs to help solidify market share, 
encourage marketers' paired Google Adwords and 
Google Analytics usage, and also adoption of 
Adwords for things beyond PPC 
(i.e. traditional media).

I'll take my $50 in the form of a personal check 
as compensation for that bit of my time being 
wasted, thanks.

Spread His Word

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